It always feels a little cruel to poke fun at homeopathy since it is perilously close to self-parody already, particularly the serious and earnest way in which proponents say absurd things. As a refresher, the idea is based on a couple of ideas made up by Samuel Hahneman in the 19th century. You take something that makes you sick, or causes a particular symptom (maybe, though most “provings” are based on Hahneman or someone else swallowing something, usually diluted to the point at which there is nothing but water there, and then reporting how they feel). Anyway, then you dilute it some more (and don’t forget to shake it!) until it becomes a potent but completely safe remedy.
Even the homeopaths don’t claim there’s anything but water in most of their nostrums, but they believe the water has some “memory” of what used to be in it (but only what they put in it, not the animal poo or whatever else was in it before they got hold of it). This is often “explained” with reference to quantum physics, since almost no one really understands quantum physics well enough to recognize this as BS, and besides it sounds better than calling it “magic.”
But I recently ran across a bit of advice from the American Holistic Veterinary Medical Association that deserve a little mockery. Here is their handout on Care and Use of Homeopathic Remedies:
Care and use of homeopathic remedies
- Fill bottle with spring water if not already diluted
- Store in refrigerator unless otherwise labeled
- Tap bottle 10-20X against palm of hand before administering .This mixes the remedies, but also increases their effectiveness
- Wipe off tip of dropper when done to minimize contamination. In dogs, you can squirt the remedy into the cheek pouch
- Do not mix in food or water if possible. (the water bowl is a possibility for single pet, difficult-to-medicate pets).Just let Dr. Lund know that you are using the remedy this way
- Your bottle will last ~6-8 weeks, and then often start to grow a bit of mold. Pets on long term therapy will need a recheck by then anyway, and the next set of remedies is usually different
So let’s get this straight. First, you dilute the water with spring water, unless it’s already been diluted. Then store the water in the refrigerator, presumably to prevent it from spoiling. Shake the water before administering to mix it with itself and make it an even stronger medicine. Be very careful not to mix the water with any food or water, except the water you originally mixed the water with (presumably too much water would make the water dangerously strong). And don’t worry if the water grows mold despite being refrigerated, since by the time this happens it will probably be necessary to have another visit with the doctor and change to a different kind of water anyway.
Obviously, I’m not smart enough to practice this kind of medicine.